I am not sure of what the most stressful part of getting to the zoo was...
walking to Enterprise to pick up a new rental,
finding out at Enterprise that I should keep a copy of my paystub and utility bill with me at all times,
getting the look of I can't believe you don't carry that with you,
the prospect of having to walk all the way home and back to get said paystub and utility bill,
planning to get to the zoo in an hour and change and taking 45 mins to get from the house to 28,
the fact that I was terrified of who is going to destroy this rental...a child...another moron,
we thought it was an ok idea to get them sports drinks for the trip down there,
Brenna moaning and grabbing her hoohaa for the last 45 mins because there was nowhere to pee,
explaining homeless people,
prospecting for a parking spot that wouldn't end in total failure,
or
the mad dash around the fence to the zoo to find a potty to pee in for the older 3 (thankfully Odin is still equipped with diapers).
Things that were not stressful on the way to the zoo were...
<insert akward silence with chirping cricket here>
So, we finally got to the zoo after a 2 hour and 13 min car ride.
Justin took the older 3 to the potty and left Odin and I to figure out how to open the new stroller, pack the stroller, figure out how to lock the rental, and then ultimately find them in the zoo. We got in the zoo, changed Odin's diaper then Mommy went potty and then we realized that Mommy and Odin forgot to put the super dooper tray on the stroller, so Justin went back to the van with Brenna.
Meanwhile, Mommy and the boys looked @ turtles and prairie dogs.
Daddy and Brenna came back 15 minutes later, sans super dooper tray because Daddy forgot the key to the Rental. We just moved on.
We made our way to go see the big cats. We got to the Tigers, and Brenna had to pee. Mommy and Brenna departed for the potty again.
We got back to the tigers as Daddy and the boys were moving on to go see the lions. We got to the Lions, Odin crapped his pants. Guh. Mommy and Odin went and stood in line for the ONE changing table in the big cats area.
We decided that the big cats were not treating us kind so we moved on to the Komodo Dragons. There was only one, so there were questions as to who he/she talked to, does he get lonely?
Oh look butterflies!
We went into the invertabrate building. We saw the ants, 2 giant octopuses(?), squid, cuddlefish, crabs, lobsters, amenomes, roaches (eek) and tarantulas, before we went outside to see the BUTTERFLIES. We spent 2-3 mins in there while Mommy tried to take a picture, that was fruitless as she was more occupied keeping the boys on the trail and out of the bushes that feed THE BUTTERFLIES!
We gathered up the stroller that was against the building from the strollers that had packed in around it, Mommy used some of those words that shouldn't be used in public, and made our way to the alligator. We had an excellent view...and so did he. We looked at more turtles.
We moved on to the Small Mammal exhibit. We, and I use the term loosely since Gunnar and Mommy sat and played with a rock garden, saw monkeys, bunnies, merkats, monkeys, birds (I didn't know they were mammals, oh they are not, I got confused by the label on the door then), and then...Mommy had a slight panic attack and needed to vacate the building.
We sat and had a snack, then we had to pee again, then we moved on together.
We went to see the Zebras, and we had a great example of Kids Say the Darndest Things moment.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, Jaxom."
"Bend down so I can whisper."
"Um...OK."
"That Zebra looks like it is pooping, but I think it got stuck, should we tell someone?" And he looked genuinely concerned.
"Which one baby?"
"That one..."
"That one right in front of us?"
"Yes, is it ok?
"Yes sweetie, I think he will be OK, that is afterall not poop. It is his Penis."
"Gunnar, Gunnar, LOOK AT THAT ONE'S BIG PENIS!"
And moving on...
We kinda saw the Cheetahs, though they were laying down spying the Zebras. The kids were more taken with the frogs in the moat around the Cheetahs.
Brenna and Odin had to pee. Justin and the other 2 boys got a table to eat lunch at. When Brenna, Odin and Mommy got back to the table, Daddy had decided that we were going to eat a snack from the bag for lunch and buy $3 fruit drinks from the vending machine because lunch would have costed us approximately $1,000,000.00 .
Jaxom and Gunnar had to pee. We ran through the misters...that felt awesome. Oh look Mommy has energy to go on...again.
We went and saw the Panda's bum before it walked away. We had to explain why the Panda's bum looks like he had diarrhea and forgot to wipe.
We went and saw the Elephant. The lady beside us made a comment about how nice it is to see the Elephant be able to roam. "No look there is the same path that goes round and round. I think that is pacing." Thanks Brenna.
Brenna and Gunnar had to pee because they had already sucked down their $3 fruit juice. Mommy took them to the bathroom, back by the food court. "I'm hungry." "I thought you had to pee." "Yes, but I'm hungry too." "When we get back you can have a snack." "From there?" "No, Gunnar." "Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyy?" "Mommy, needs a better job. DON'T TOUCH THE POTTY!"
We found Daddy, and the boys in the same spot we had left them. Odin wanted to be held.
Hey, look it's 2ish, we should head back to the car.
We thought we took a turn that would start leading us back to the car. We went around a big loop that took us under lots of trees with birds.
"What's that white stuff?"
"Bird poop."
"Wow."
"Hurry, you don't want that in your hair, Brenna."
Wow, how did we end up back by the Pandas? WTF, maybe we should have paid the $12 for a map of the zoo.
"Gunnar, can you get out of the stroller so Odin can take a nap?"
SILENCE
"Gunnar, Mommy was just being polite when she asked, you have to get out of the stroller."
And look the first tantrum of the day....where is the car?
On the way back to the car, Jaxom decided to recite everywhere we neglected to go. I tried to explain that we could come back, and that if we hadn't needed to take so many potty breaks, we could have seen more. And look, big kid tantrum, yay!
The car ride home took 45 mins. We off loaded the Rental to take back. Oh, Mommy is dizzy...and Mommy passed out...and Mommy placked on the storm drain....and, oooooh, Mommy caught herself with her face on the storm drain.
Mommy, gets to take another trip today! Yay! To the hospital...wait how did I get inside? What happened? Did we go to the zoo yet? Why does my face hurt? Oh, because it is broken. Yay!
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