Every Mom knows that eventually there will be a time in their child's life that they just meltdown, throw a tantrum...go berserk. There will be fits of anger, crying, kicking and screaming.
Tonight...we needed to go to the store for a few things so I took the boys up to the corner market to get them...we walked because I thought it would help them spend some extra energy. On the way there I prepared them for the fact that we were going to get what we needed and no extras. Gunnar and Odin both seemed to grasp that concept.
We got to the store, gathered up what we needed and went to the checkout. We know the cashier fairly well...she knows the boys names, and we chat from time to time at my work. She offered the boys a tic tac, Gunnar's favorite candy...to which they caved and said yes in unison. Then Gunnar asked if we could buy some tic tacs to which I said no.
First came the tears...crocodile tears. These tears are designed to make your heart melt and thusly your brain to say yes.
Second the foot stomping...Since the tears didn't work, well, you left me choice but to publicly shame you into saying yes.
I did not cave in. I took him firmly by the hand and did my best to start the walk back to the house. The good walk down a busy street...with a child that was now chanting and screaming TIC TACS at the top of his lungs.
Then came the lunging...like an untrained pit bull on a leash...it was all I could do to keep him from pulling us all into the street. Thankfully, Odin was merrily playing in the grass as we walked down the street.
We stopped, I tried to compose myself...the screaming got louder. I tried to lift him...he has dead weight down pat now.
I managed to drag him to the corner of our street before he started trying to throw himself on the ground. I did my best to do the, "Well I'm walking away" strategy, but with Odin...it was difficult. I ushered Odin halfway across the street and told him to go get Daddy quickly.
Justin apparently was in the shower...so I had to endure on my own. I lost it...I started crying, Odin was crying, Gunnar was screaming...I just wanted this to be over.
After a lot of pulling, screaming, and finally a dead lift...I got Gunnar safely in the house. He went berserk...looks like a tornado was isolated to my first floor. He picked up everything that he could lift to throw, crumpled up bills, tore up homework...he was just as destructive as he could be.
5 minutes later, the tears had dried, the screaming stopped...it was as if nothing had happened. He said that he was better and then gave Odin a hug.
What is that?!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
I can...nope don't want to do this
Every time I start a new vacation...I think to myself...why don't I just stay home, why can't it be Justin's turn to go back to work full time. I could totally do this all the time. I love my kids, I want a clean house, I could do a little something on the side to help make ends meet...how hard could it be?
It's so hard that I am considering going to work early tomorrow.
It starts off blissful... You have this whole routine planned out...we're going to go to the park everyday...that'll wear them out. We're going to clean up their rooms, and then I'll teach them to be organized and stuff. We'll practice our handwriting. And you know what...they will behave.
Then...
The trip to the park launches into a fight...and someone will have to pee. Then you'll need to haul all 4 kids back (if you're lucky enough to get your "I'm 10, I have a phone, so I am too cool to be caught at the park" kid to tag along with you)...of which at least 2 will not be ready to go...to there will be running from a need to pee and screaming for a will to stay...and there will be yelling and almost tears from you.
You'll spend the whole day cleaning and organizing their room...they'll recite the new rules of barbies go here...and transformers should stay in one piece...and we'll keep our toys off the floor so you don't trip on them...I love you, Mommy...but you will have to turn your back eventually for 15 seconds...and when you turn back...it will look like you never went in there. Every single belonging that they could muster up the will and strength to lift will have moved, been taken apart, thrown on the floor, or a combination of the before mentioned.
Oh and that handwriting...well that handwriting...that's a fruitless effort. What with the you can just type that and it'll spell check it generation. Not even worth getting into that here.
So you will lower your expectations...
You lighten the load...Whoever gets up before the alarm goes off will get to go to the park. Whoever hides their toys from Mommy the best will help her maintain her Schmidt. Whoever can remember how to write his or her name without the use of a guide, computer or spell checker on their phone...well they won't have to do it again until school starts!
This goes a bit better because...
No one gets to go to the park since no one gets up before 10 am. So you save yourself the trouble of renting a port a john to take with you and the argument with your "I'm 10, I have a phone, so I am too cool to be caught at the park" kid.
You won't loose your cool because all their toys now fit under their bed...only a few pieces hang out into your sight...but let's be honest...you don't have the energy to fight so you will just pretend that you don't know what's going on.
Your older 2 have retained the ability to spell their names...but the 3rd one...well he apparently no longer has vowels, his name is now "GNNNNNNR." Which I guess in a way may be all he has heard you call him that past few days through gritted teeth. So we will also call that one a win.
See how much smoother things are going now? You have given up your standards...so there are no bars to be set, so expectations to be achieved...and without expectations...there is no disappointment.
But then...
You'll have a few days left at home and you will look back at what you achieved while at home with the barbarians...nothing. You won't want to remember those lofty expectations that you had set at the beginning of your vacation, but they will creep back up into your rear-view mirror. The only thing that you will have left to rest your laurels on will be that...everyone survived. On the last day, when you are trying to pack lunch for the kids the next day, you will reach into a drawer fully expecting to find a can opener to open the chicken for the chicken salad sandwiches tomorrow...and you will come out empty handed. You will look around the kitchen and you will think to yourself...look at that...Brenna emptied the dishwasher all by herself, could use some work on putting them away, but hey they aren't in the dishwasher any longer. Jaxom cleaned the floors...wow, he could use a little reminding that the rag does not belong on top of the dishes that Brenna took out of the dishwasher, but hey...he mopped up the mess on the floor. Wow...only a few bumps and bruises today...and no trips to the ER! WAHOO! Then you will call your husband, and through your tears you will explain that despite your children's best efforts they were unable to locate the can opener in the TV or on the ceiling, so exhausted from all the effort they went to bed. You will also explain that all the dishes that Brenna took from the dishwasher, that are now in the sink did not contain the can opener either. Then you will apologize for calling his end of the deal easy. He will respond with a leave me a note for when I get home so that I can finish making their lunches...and try to get some rest. Things will go back to normal in no time.
It starts off blissful... You have this whole routine planned out...we're going to go to the park everyday...that'll wear them out. We're going to clean up their rooms, and then I'll teach them to be organized and stuff. We'll practice our handwriting. And you know what...they will behave.
Then...
The trip to the park launches into a fight...and someone will have to pee. Then you'll need to haul all 4 kids back (if you're lucky enough to get your "I'm 10, I have a phone, so I am too cool to be caught at the park" kid to tag along with you)...of which at least 2 will not be ready to go...to there will be running from a need to pee and screaming for a will to stay...and there will be yelling and almost tears from you.
You'll spend the whole day cleaning and organizing their room...they'll recite the new rules of barbies go here...and transformers should stay in one piece...and we'll keep our toys off the floor so you don't trip on them...I love you, Mommy...but you will have to turn your back eventually for 15 seconds...and when you turn back...it will look like you never went in there. Every single belonging that they could muster up the will and strength to lift will have moved, been taken apart, thrown on the floor, or a combination of the before mentioned.
Oh and that handwriting...well that handwriting...that's a fruitless effort. What with the you can just type that and it'll spell check it generation. Not even worth getting into that here.
So you will lower your expectations...
You lighten the load...Whoever gets up before the alarm goes off will get to go to the park. Whoever hides their toys from Mommy the best will help her maintain her Schmidt. Whoever can remember how to write his or her name without the use of a guide, computer or spell checker on their phone...well they won't have to do it again until school starts!
This goes a bit better because...
No one gets to go to the park since no one gets up before 10 am. So you save yourself the trouble of renting a port a john to take with you and the argument with your "I'm 10, I have a phone, so I am too cool to be caught at the park" kid.
You won't loose your cool because all their toys now fit under their bed...only a few pieces hang out into your sight...but let's be honest...you don't have the energy to fight so you will just pretend that you don't know what's going on.
Your older 2 have retained the ability to spell their names...but the 3rd one...well he apparently no longer has vowels, his name is now "GNNNNNNR." Which I guess in a way may be all he has heard you call him that past few days through gritted teeth. So we will also call that one a win.
See how much smoother things are going now? You have given up your standards...so there are no bars to be set, so expectations to be achieved...and without expectations...there is no disappointment.
But then...
You'll have a few days left at home and you will look back at what you achieved while at home with the barbarians...nothing. You won't want to remember those lofty expectations that you had set at the beginning of your vacation, but they will creep back up into your rear-view mirror. The only thing that you will have left to rest your laurels on will be that...everyone survived. On the last day, when you are trying to pack lunch for the kids the next day, you will reach into a drawer fully expecting to find a can opener to open the chicken for the chicken salad sandwiches tomorrow...and you will come out empty handed. You will look around the kitchen and you will think to yourself...look at that...Brenna emptied the dishwasher all by herself, could use some work on putting them away, but hey they aren't in the dishwasher any longer. Jaxom cleaned the floors...wow, he could use a little reminding that the rag does not belong on top of the dishes that Brenna took out of the dishwasher, but hey...he mopped up the mess on the floor. Wow...only a few bumps and bruises today...and no trips to the ER! WAHOO! Then you will call your husband, and through your tears you will explain that despite your children's best efforts they were unable to locate the can opener in the TV or on the ceiling, so exhausted from all the effort they went to bed. You will also explain that all the dishes that Brenna took from the dishwasher, that are now in the sink did not contain the can opener either. Then you will apologize for calling his end of the deal easy. He will respond with a leave me a note for when I get home so that I can finish making their lunches...and try to get some rest. Things will go back to normal in no time.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
The Morning Shuffle
Mommy wakes at 6.
Mommy is showered,dressed, and ready at 6:30.
Mommy packs lunches by 6:45.
Mommy wakes up Brenna at 6:50.
Mommy wakes up Jaxom and Gunnar at 7:00.
Jaxom and Gunnar are dressed and downstairs no later than 7:10.
Jaxom makes his breakfast.
Gunnar puts on his shoes.
Gunnar eats breakfast.
Jaxom gobbles down breakfast...chew now taste later kind of gobble.
Jaxom gets on his back pack and shoes then stands by the door...it's now 7:25.
Brenna meanders downstairs...hair still a fuss.
Brenna sits at the table to eat breakfast.
Gunnar grabs his back pack and stand at the door...it's not 7:28.
Brenna goes back upstairs to brush her hair and find(!) socks.
The boys head out to the bus stop...it's 7:30.
Mommy heads out with them...7:32.
The bus crests the speed bump at the end of the street...7:37.
Brenna runs out the front door at 7:38 and jumps right on the bus.
I ask myself 3 things every morning during the school year...
1. How can it take her soooooo long to get ready when she already dresses the night before?
2. What are the boys not doing that they can shave so much off their time getting ready?
3. How many times walking to school will it take for Brenna to get in gear?
And that folks, those 98 minutes is why I dearly miss caffeine.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Wonderful Friends!
I have such wonderful friends and family! I recently put it out in the universe that I need to have an "elective" surgery that my insurance will not pay for...I am about half way there but have fallen stagnant as of late. I absolutely adore how all of you have chipped in...unwanted stuff for a yard sale, gift cards for my groceries so I can save up more on my own, and proceed parties. Thank you so much...
To have one spot to put everything that has been raised, I have created a Chip In page (see the widget), thank you guys so much for your support!
To have one spot to put everything that has been raised, I have created a Chip In page (see the widget), thank you guys so much for your support!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
First Day Jitters for G-gers
Gunnar lunged face first into Kindergarten today...woohoo.
Today all the parents of Kindergartners attended their first half day of school with them. We rode the bus today, had snack together, and sang song while all the Mommies and Daddies filled out paperwork (what fun). At the end of Gunnar's first day of K, we had a bit of a mishap as he decked another kid with a plastic cup while they were having a sword fighting adventure while also playing a rousing game of house.
We were told not to interfere as much as possible, it was hard, but it was accomplished...despite a quick gasp and cringe, the other Mom and I tried to leave well enough alone and let the teacher take over. No one cried, no one died...they hugged and moved on...then we allowed ourselves a sigh of relief.
Today was only a half day...and this has already started...no where to go but up!
For more on how we handled ourselves...please visit:
http://www.squidoo.com/ripplesofbania-hitting
Today all the parents of Kindergartners attended their first half day of school with them. We rode the bus today, had snack together, and sang song while all the Mommies and Daddies filled out paperwork (what fun). At the end of Gunnar's first day of K, we had a bit of a mishap as he decked another kid with a plastic cup while they were having a sword fighting adventure while also playing a rousing game of house.
We were told not to interfere as much as possible, it was hard, but it was accomplished...despite a quick gasp and cringe, the other Mom and I tried to leave well enough alone and let the teacher take over. No one cried, no one died...they hugged and moved on...then we allowed ourselves a sigh of relief.
Today was only a half day...and this has already started...no where to go but up!
For more on how we handled ourselves...please visit:
http://www.squidoo.com/ripplesofbania-hitting
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Moving on
Arwen Grace was due on 11/23/2012, but she arrived in June resulting in a heart breaking loss to my family. We were all excited to have a little girl join our already large brood of 3 boys and a single girl. We were making plans, buying clothes and bottles, and making room in our busy home. Complications arose in late June with some bleeding, then I started leaking fluid. We had all hoped that with some rest and relaxation we would be able to hold on for a few more week to get her to a viable age outside of the womb. Unfortunately, our best hopes didn't work out and at 19 weeks we gained another Angel.
It has been 2 months since we lost Arwen, and most of the time we are ok. Other times, not so much. When we got pregnant lots of my other girlfriends were announcing as well that they were expecting a wee one in the world and soon. While I am so excited and happy to see all of their beautiful babies, a part of me still hurts to know that I never got to know my little one, never got to see her smile or grow up. The loss is still fresh enough that we cry sometimes, but it is starting to heal.
As of late we have been removing some things that we no longer need from the house to sell, mostly to clear out some space, but also to fund a surgery that our insurance company considers elective. My husband and I have decided to sell the clothing that we had purchased for Arwen since we never used it. While I was packing it into a box for next weekend, it all came rushing back, all the hurt, sense of failure, missing the kicks in my belly. I thought that I had moved past all of that weeks ago, but I guess that I hadn't.
I am lucky enough to have an amazing support group that I can reach out to at any time. We have all been there and they seem to really understand what I am going through. It helps because then I know that I am not alone, there is a proverbial shoulder to cry on, and ladies I thank you for that.
I am learning though that moving on means that you have to start to let go, let go of the pain, the what if's, but that it doesn't mean that you have to forget. Arwen Grace will always be in my heart and in my mind, I don't have to let go of the thought of her.
It has been 2 months since we lost Arwen, and most of the time we are ok. Other times, not so much. When we got pregnant lots of my other girlfriends were announcing as well that they were expecting a wee one in the world and soon. While I am so excited and happy to see all of their beautiful babies, a part of me still hurts to know that I never got to know my little one, never got to see her smile or grow up. The loss is still fresh enough that we cry sometimes, but it is starting to heal.
As of late we have been removing some things that we no longer need from the house to sell, mostly to clear out some space, but also to fund a surgery that our insurance company considers elective. My husband and I have decided to sell the clothing that we had purchased for Arwen since we never used it. While I was packing it into a box for next weekend, it all came rushing back, all the hurt, sense of failure, missing the kicks in my belly. I thought that I had moved past all of that weeks ago, but I guess that I hadn't.
I am lucky enough to have an amazing support group that I can reach out to at any time. We have all been there and they seem to really understand what I am going through. It helps because then I know that I am not alone, there is a proverbial shoulder to cry on, and ladies I thank you for that.
I am learning though that moving on means that you have to start to let go, let go of the pain, the what if's, but that it doesn't mean that you have to forget. Arwen Grace will always be in my heart and in my mind, I don't have to let go of the thought of her.
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