Christmas Eve, HOA Style

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Every creature was stirring, even that dern mouse.
The stockings were hung on the wall by Command,
In hopes that St Nicholas would soon make a stand...


The children were nestled all snug on the couch,
While visions of video games were mumbled through their mouths.
And mamma with her wine, and I in a haze,
Had just settled down to assemble a 4th bike craze.


When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains and broke through the glass.


The moon on the breast of the new-glazed frost
Gave the lustre of Vegas with how much the lights cost.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a purple tow truck, and the driver without fear.


With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment twasn't St Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!


"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"


As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So down the rad the coursers they flew,
With the truck full of cars, but not mine, whew!


And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the ground
The prancing and pawing of each little link.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the road the HOA President came with a bound.


He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all glamoured with Glitter & GOLD
A bundle of fines he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.


His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how sour!
His cheeks were a blazen, his nose rotten with power!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.


The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he cackled, like a bowlful of jelly!


He was chubby and plump, a right cranky old oaf,
And I laughed when I saw him, because of how he spoke!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.


He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the boxes, then turned like a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, twas my fine last that he chose!


He pointed at the grass, to his team gave a whistle,
And forward they all flew, with a ruler, straight like a missle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"